19 Funniest New Year's Resolutions
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wear pants when i leave the house
i will find that bastard who let the dogs out
stop making new year's resolutions
be more positive and less sarcastic, like i won't screw that up right away
love myself like kanye loves himself
i will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
my new year resolution is: 1024 by 968 pixels!
i will shower less and use more cologne
i will find out what the hell that smell is
i will change my username to 'password' and my password to 'username'
i will stop saying," ooh, that feels nice" whenever the security guys frisk me at airports.
stop blaming others on my flatulants
stop talking on the phone while on the pot
reject a supermodel every once in a while
making love while sky diving
i will work with neglected children...my own
i will change all the clocks flashing '12:00'
don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
i will always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
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